Holiday Joys

Dear Holiday Worn Readers (That's right, all five of you),

Tonight is a night for a series of otherwise incoherent topics that are only connected by my flurry of holiday season experiences. If you're looking for a strictly linear storyline, read Harry Potter.

Topic 1: Home for the Holidays
Many people return to their place of origin over the holidays. Whilst they're here, they wish to rekindle old flames of friendship and engage in merriment that is unhindered by the stresses of independence, homesickness, children, or laundry. While reconnecting is wonderful in theory, it runs into the constraint of "Ohmigod-I'm-only-here-for-two-weeks-and-I-have-to-see-my-friends-but-at-least-3-days-of-the-break-must-be-devoted-to-my-family". Given this, some friendly neighborhood bloggers end up going to 4 shindigs in 2 days forgoing 2 more, visiting an old school's holiday feast, singing in 2 concerts, recording a CD, planning a retreat, and hanging out with every social group imaginable from choir geek to lifelong friends. Does this cause shear exhaustion and social fatigue you might ask. Answer: No. When you the venues are engaging, the "friend time" meter fills faster than the "I wish I could nap" meter. All the same, I'm thinking a new schedule in which schools around the nation periodically release their kids on break would be easier on my social calendar. As it is, the world doesn't revolve around social hermits with agendas so I guess 1 or 2 events with each group will have to do.

Topic 2: Jesus was born when?
I don't know the exact date of Jesus' birth, nor do I care to look it up, but I've gotten answers everywhere from January 6 to April. The point is, he was not born of Christmas and we just happen to celebrate his birthday on December 25. Does this diminish the significance of celebration? It shouldn't matter WHEN you celebrate something if you take the time to make meaning of it. This made me wonder though...Is there a reason why Christmas replaced the winter solstice and is celebrated in the dead of winter as opposed to when it might be more historically accurate?

I supposed a few things:
1)We as humans may have always felt seasonal affective disorder and to counteract that people naturally created celebrations in winter to make up for the gloom caused by absence of sunlight. Christmas would then have been set in winter to account for this natural glum, and since it conveniently swept a pagan celebration to the side, the pioneering Christians were like, "Yippee!". And honestly, don't you feel better with artificial, colored light blinking out of every window?
2)If folks weren't that intentional about treating their depression, there could've been a fluke and some idiot wrote the birthday down wrong, forever making Jesus laugh about his followers (cultural or religious) commemorating him on a day completely irrelevant to his life.
3)If both these are wrong, then people may not have been intentional in any capacity and just celebrated 'cause it made them happy. They didn't bother fussing over when they got to halt everything and eat ham.

Topic 3: Taylor Swift Can't Sing...Ever
As an ever so cool sound guy/musician informed me, auto-tune technology was first developed for live shows. It only later dawned on producers that they could make artists sound better in the studio too and thus open the gates for marketing "artists" who never sound good ever, but have some other appeal like looking pretty or something. This information more than ever makes me appreciate when someone messes up live. If someone loves the art enough to be vulnerable and put themselves out there to perform without handicaps, it doesn't matter that they went sharp, flat or said "plahzit" instead of "closet". They're doing it for you and usually, they're better than those techno, cheater losers anyway.
I did realize one benefit of auto-tune today when I watched it work its evil power on my voice: It can help you really scrutinize your voice. Basic lesson- auto-tune draws a line representing your voice and another one with it's edited version. The natural lines are more squiggly up and down meaning they fluctuate between pitches more either due to vibrato or suckiness. The auto-tune line is more compressed so as to exact a pitch. What this visual helps you see is when and on what notes you have pitch problems, how often you slide, and how crazy your vibrato is. My vibrato at one point spanned a minor 3rd. A freaking minor 3rd! Auto-tune indiscriminately "fixes" all these things (sometimes with terrible results). Whether or not you like them stylistically is your choice, but at least you can really see what you're doing.
In case you were wondering about the title of this topic: Taylor Swift is auto-tuned in every setting. This means she can never sing. Ever. That's her story. Baby just say yes.

Topic 4: Naughty or Nice?
Sometimes perfectly nice people surprise you with how vulgar they can be. I don't mean this in a bad way. It's hilarious when they release their inner Russell Brand. The incongruous nature of it just gives toilet humor an extra punch. But my actual point is that I don't expect them to be amused by dirty jokes or even think of them readily and relentlessly.
My friends and I comprise a table of the following religious affiliations: 5 nice, disciplined Christians, 2 Mormons (technically Christian but they actually have a specific denominational identity! What a concept. Being sure of what you believe in), and an agnostic. The agnostic would presumably be most prone to dick jokes. But, trying to be polite, they don't initiate a trip down to the gutter. However, after practically swimming in it for several rounds of sexually charged question and equally sexual but non-responsive answer, all bets were off.
I don't know why this is funny for them. It may be because of the previously mentioned incongruous nature of it. Or good behavior in action may allow them to joke freely about it in a game. Or, the simplest answer, potty humor is potty humor and just funny to everyone no matter who they are.


You may not have deemed these topics worthy of your ponderance. I myself questioned whether or not I should be using time thinking about them. I did seem to reach rather undecided conclusions that leaned more towards general humanity as an answer as opposed to gritty, specific, situational causes.

Pfff, enjoy your holidays and may they be filled with more thought unencumbered joy than mine.

Indecisively,
Jamin

Short

I'm keeping today's post short and sweet.
Have you ever or will you ever be a chicken?
Think about it.

Unfinished Turkey (Burlesque Review)

Burlesque (the movie) is a highly adorned Thanksgiving turkey without stuffing. (Yes, I'm making a definitive, metaphorical statement not a wishy wash simile. That movie was a turkey...but not in the bad sense. Whatever, keep reading.) You may be wondering what on earth a dead bird has to do with women in skimpy, shiny getups. Well, see if you can figure it out a few long-winded paragraphs later.

When you see the Thanksgiving turkey that your mom labored six hours over, your mouth salivates, your eyes light up, your stomach suddenly feels so empty you forget how many calories a human being is supposed to consume in a day. It is sitting on a silver platter nestled in a bed of lettuce with garnishing and seasoning. That turkey looks sooooooo good. Your father busts out the freshly sharpened knife and carves into that sucker. Steams billows from the cut bird. You're so excited to eat that luscious thing. Then you notice the meat is falling off the bone a little too much, so much so you anticipate a hard time getting a bite in your mouth. When your father digs deeper in, you realize that in all the laborious hours your mom forgot to put the stuffing in. You all have a moment of brief disappointment, but then decide to be grateful for your illustrious dinner anyway and proceed to eat the damn bird in a mostly contented fashion.

This turkey dinner was how Burlesque felt. The movie was mostly done and as was a enjoyable as a whole. All the pieces were there. They just weren't finished. There were several moments where a little expansion could've made them poignant and altogether more enjoyable. I will now present plot expansions.

*Cher's backstory could've been explained, further contextualizing Aguilera's star turn. Better yet, it might explain why Cher was so dedicated to the club and unwilling to sell it but still not be motivated enough to do something constructive to raise money.
*Someone could've told me how Kristen Bell and Cher were anywhere near enough in years to be good friends who started a Burlesque club.
*Aguilera's "dangerous" other man who her friends at the club didn't trust could have actually had relevance to the show biz world therefore making his claims that he could "help her get what she wanted" would've felt real and Aguilera would've actually been tempted to be with him for a stab at larger fame.
*A clearer attraction between Aguilera and her love interest could've been showcased so that their abstinence while he was still engaged would've been more noble and then the moment they finally got together would've been a bigger sigh of relief.
*The movie should've delved more into the history and world of Burlesque. I didn't walk away from that movie with a greater understanding of the art form. When I looked up Burlesque, I found that the movie portrayed it fairly accurately IT JUSTED DIDN'T EXPLAIN ANY OF IT DURING THE MOVIE. Also, Aguilera came to LA wanting to be a singer, why was she suddenly ok with being a high class, dancing stripper?

The story had every element every other story has, much like turkeys are pretty much all the same. No plot surprises, but the context was cute enough that you wanted to continue watching their version of the age old story. It's just like that Turkey dinner, not quite as good without the stuffing (heightened drama) or semi solid meat (plot elements that stayed together) but enjoyable enough that you want to eat it and it looked SOOOOOO good. I mean that literally about the film. Dancing, lights, costumes = yay.

And that concludes my comparison between Burlesque and a turkey. I'm sorry it was so long, but this is what happens when I watch a movie. No moment is safe from scrutiny. I could expound more, but I fear I lost you two lavalieres ago.

Wanting for stuffing,
Jamin

Pysch 101

This is how my brain works when I randomly sit in on a psych class:

Erikson's model of psychological development frames human beings' growth in stages starting with building trust and ending with integrity. In the middle, are stages autonomy, initiative, competency, identity, intimacy, and generativity. (This is an extremely truncated version, but what blog analysis isn't?) Erikson would argue that if not enough of one stage of your development is complete you can't successfully move on to the next one. Naturally there is some overlap, but this begs the question why are some the most "generative" people so young?


Mostly who I'm thinking of in this query is the extremely influential people who accomplish their greatest achievements at a young age. It may be that the power of our celebrity driven culture pushed them to fame while secretly they were still having a literal identity crisis, however small it was. This doesn't seem entirely accurate considering some people have done the same thing all their lives and have reached "integrity" status without passing through the phases in the expected time frame. Some would argue that these people still have perceptual change within their sphere of whatever it is they're doing, but some kids really just seem like adults trapped in small bodies.

I seriously think that some people possess the capability to pass through these phases of cognitive functioning faster than the norm. With limited lifespans in earlier times, how did we build arches, pyramids, castles, and cathedrals before people passed into their generative phase? Why are some of our greatest writers the dreaded "isolated" and never achieve intimacy? Can't exceptional circumstances propel these phases into overdrive despite hormonal limitations? Aren't some people just exceptionally mature?

I'll leave you with a post-conventional conclusion and say simply that you can decide the answer because there is no answer. You are free to originate your choices completely in the tangible universe or else in the one nebulous one.

Intangibly,
Jamin

Amendment to Previous Post

I forgot to mention that Outwardly Inward does have a dual purpose. The quote at the top of this page from JK Rowling explains that purpose. The assumption is: What we think internally has an effect on how we shape our external reality.

The goal then? Blog my inner monologue and shape the universe a la "The Secret" style. This molding starts with YOU!

Mwahahahahaha,
Jamin

Welcome! To any of you readers out there (which is probably no one) I hope you have a fantastic day! Before I start blogging about random frivolity, daily minutiae, and other philosophical thoughts of this world, I shall first explain to you the meaning of my blog's title.

Outwardly Inward alludes to the irony of blogging. Blogs are generally composed of the inward thoughts of their writers. Yet blogs are a physical, documented manifestation of these thoughts and because they are on the Internet, your thoughts essentially lose all hope of privacy. Of course, hopefully the author of a blog uses a filter and is protected by anonymity...unless you're a celebrity, in which case your fans hang on to your every word in hopes of being vicariously satisfied by your exponentially more exciting life.

Anyway, I find it funny when people complain about how what they posted on the Internet came back to haunt them. You, the reader, may then wonder if I am a person with nothing to lose and can therefore be extremely extroverted when writing this blog. My answer is: NO. I will have to disappoint you, random person. I will be extremely discretionary and divulge very little personal detail. Instead, I shall expound on my topics in a general, swooping way or else use symbols and fictitious settings to tell you of an outrageous life event.

Let the adventure begin!

The Not So Outwardly Inward,
Jamin