Burlesque (the movie) is a highly adorned Thanksgiving turkey without stuffing. (Yes, I'm making a definitive, metaphorical statement not a wishy wash simile. That movie was a turkey...but not in the bad sense. Whatever, keep reading.) You may be wondering what on earth a dead bird has to do with women in skimpy, shiny getups. Well, see if you can figure it out a few long-winded paragraphs later.
When you see the Thanksgiving turkey that your mom labored six hours over, your mouth salivates, your eyes light up, your stomach suddenly feels so empty you forget how many calories a human being is supposed to consume in a day. It is sitting on a silver platter nestled in a bed of lettuce with garnishing and seasoning. That turkey looks sooooooo good. Your father busts out the freshly sharpened knife and carves into that sucker. Steams billows from the cut bird. You're so excited to eat that luscious thing. Then you notice the meat is falling off the bone a little too much, so much so you anticipate a hard time getting a bite in your mouth. When your father digs deeper in, you realize that in all the laborious hours your mom forgot to put the stuffing in. You all have a moment of brief disappointment, but then decide to be grateful for your illustrious dinner anyway and proceed to eat the damn bird in a mostly contented fashion.
This turkey dinner was how Burlesque felt. The movie was mostly done and as was a enjoyable as a whole. All the pieces were there. They just weren't finished. There were several moments where a little expansion could've made them poignant and altogether more enjoyable. I will now present plot expansions.
*Cher's backstory could've been explained, further contextualizing Aguilera's star turn. Better yet, it might explain why Cher was so dedicated to the club and unwilling to sell it but still not be motivated enough to do something constructive to raise money.
*Someone could've told me how Kristen Bell and Cher were anywhere near enough in years to be good friends who started a Burlesque club.
*Aguilera's "dangerous" other man who her friends at the club didn't trust could have actually had relevance to the show biz world therefore making his claims that he could "help her get what she wanted" would've felt real and Aguilera would've actually been tempted to be with him for a stab at larger fame.
*A clearer attraction between Aguilera and her love interest could've been showcased so that their abstinence while he was still engaged would've been more noble and then the moment they finally got together would've been a bigger sigh of relief.
*The movie should've delved more into the history and world of Burlesque. I didn't walk away from that movie with a greater understanding of the art form. When I looked up Burlesque, I found that the movie portrayed it fairly accurately IT JUSTED DIDN'T EXPLAIN ANY OF IT DURING THE MOVIE. Also, Aguilera came to LA wanting to be a singer, why was she suddenly ok with being a high class, dancing stripper?
The story had every element every other story has, much like turkeys are pretty much all the same. No plot surprises, but the context was cute enough that you wanted to continue watching their version of the age old story. It's just like that Turkey dinner, not quite as good without the stuffing (heightened drama) or semi solid meat (plot elements that stayed together) but enjoyable enough that you want to eat it and it looked SOOOOOO good. I mean that literally about the film. Dancing, lights, costumes = yay.
And that concludes my comparison between Burlesque and a turkey. I'm sorry it was so long, but this is what happens when I watch a movie. No moment is safe from scrutiny. I could expound more, but I fear I lost you two lavalieres ago.
Wanting for stuffing,
Jamin
No comments:
Post a Comment