If you read a post of mine in February, I said that I had lots of drafts waiting to be edited and published. This is still true. There they are. Just sitting there. Neglected, collecting cyber dust, jealous of their counterparts that sit adjacent to them polished and published. The thing is, as attractive as those pieces are, I've discovered blog posts are like one night stands for me. I have to do it quickly, vigorously, and excitedly, but after that, it should only be remembered pleasantly every once in a while when the sting of loneliness kicks in. Maybe I'll rekindle the flames by reading about more current events.
Learning to have long-term relationships with his blog posts,
Jamin
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
A Plea For Americans
It's no secret that our political environment is toxic and has been for a while. Growing up in the late 90s and early 2000s I never got to witness for myself winning strokes in political history. The image of my first president was tainted by a sex scandal. My first memory of the voting process was littered with doubt about its legitimacy. My second president spoke less articulately than most of my classmates. The national crisis I lived through was used as a tool to begin an everlasting war justified by false evidence, vague notions of a world ruled by democracy, and thinly veiled economic interests. The first president I believed in, while projecting an earnest image, seems caught in the same agenda that propelled us eastward in the first place. Aspersions are cast about his credentials and citizenship by a man with hair implants and a woman who can't be bothered to be more informed than the average citizen. The intellectualism and honesty of the conservative party is all but gone. The bravery and push for change of the liberal party seems misplaced.
I write to you today not to complain about the state of our political system. I'm sure every generation when they're my age feels like their world's falling apart and great things were only accomplished in some long-forgotten era of political triumph. I could probably make a case for an ailing nation in every decade. What I want to remind you of today is the importance of the people. While practically we can do little, our voice can still shift America's attitude.
What I want to ask is this: please, know your politicians and what they're up to. You don't have to understand the science of tactical manipulation to know when someone's not being forthcoming. However, if you let information only travel to you from the general public or propoganda, you deserve not to have an opinion. Please, don't accept the level of ignorance, inadequacy, and iniquity that's making its way into our seats of power. If someone is as imbecilic as Palin or Trump or as personally dubious as Edwards or Spitzer, don't stand for it. Our politicians SHOULD be held to higher standards of conduct and pedanticalness. Finally, please be courteous to your fellow citizens.
Dissatisfaction with the government crosses party lines. I suppose that's why people are especially obsessed with credulous conspiracies right now. They want the bad to have a source. The thing disuniting us as a people is where we apportion the blame. I posit to you that some of our current circumstances are driven by political forces beyond anyone's control. Some of them are caused by past failures in leadership. And some of them are caused by our unwillingness to compromise and make educated decisions as a people and as a nation. If we, the people, all promote an attitude of unity and intellectual perserverance in the face of hard times, our politicians may follow. If we ignore the problems most of the time, throw wild accusations across the room, and remain mostly misinformed, we give our leaders license to do so as well.
The Founding Fathers didn't give us freedom and democracy lightly. Originally, only land-owning, educated, white men could vote. Obviously we know now that race, class, and gender have little bearing on a person's competency, but what then becomes the great equalizer is knowledge or lack thereof. So please, don't squander your amazing right and don't poison the American image with more misplaced anger. Follow some news, talk with friends, talk with people with opposing views, be a good citizen and maybe the next generation can tell better stories of their political system.
I write to you today not to complain about the state of our political system. I'm sure every generation when they're my age feels like their world's falling apart and great things were only accomplished in some long-forgotten era of political triumph. I could probably make a case for an ailing nation in every decade. What I want to remind you of today is the importance of the people. While practically we can do little, our voice can still shift America's attitude.
What I want to ask is this: please, know your politicians and what they're up to. You don't have to understand the science of tactical manipulation to know when someone's not being forthcoming. However, if you let information only travel to you from the general public or propoganda, you deserve not to have an opinion. Please, don't accept the level of ignorance, inadequacy, and iniquity that's making its way into our seats of power. If someone is as imbecilic as Palin or Trump or as personally dubious as Edwards or Spitzer, don't stand for it. Our politicians SHOULD be held to higher standards of conduct and pedanticalness. Finally, please be courteous to your fellow citizens.
Dissatisfaction with the government crosses party lines. I suppose that's why people are especially obsessed with credulous conspiracies right now. They want the bad to have a source. The thing disuniting us as a people is where we apportion the blame. I posit to you that some of our current circumstances are driven by political forces beyond anyone's control. Some of them are caused by past failures in leadership. And some of them are caused by our unwillingness to compromise and make educated decisions as a people and as a nation. If we, the people, all promote an attitude of unity and intellectual perserverance in the face of hard times, our politicians may follow. If we ignore the problems most of the time, throw wild accusations across the room, and remain mostly misinformed, we give our leaders license to do so as well.
The Founding Fathers didn't give us freedom and democracy lightly. Originally, only land-owning, educated, white men could vote. Obviously we know now that race, class, and gender have little bearing on a person's competency, but what then becomes the great equalizer is knowledge or lack thereof. So please, don't squander your amazing right and don't poison the American image with more misplaced anger. Follow some news, talk with friends, talk with people with opposing views, be a good citizen and maybe the next generation can tell better stories of their political system.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
All I Want for Christmas Are My Rights
Dear Readers,
After opening night of Assassins a parent voiced concern over the content of the show, specifically the violence. At our show last night a news crew from Krem2 came to film the first part of the performance. After some deliberation with the administration, the n word was struck from the show. While the initial scare of cancellation has died down, this controversy brings to light many important issues.
The first concern underlying this parent's, and other people's, sentiments is that teenagers should not and can't deal with obscenity, political complexities, psychopathy, and violence. This is simply not true. High schoolers are capable of dealing with sophisticated material. Assassins is a controversial show by nature but this uproar was rooted in doubts of "appropriateness". While many teenagers don't exhibit their finer qualities to the adults in their life, most kids have the intellectual and emotional prowess to not only understand darker issues, but have meaningful discourse on them as well.
You are laboring under delusions if you think teens are blissfully unaware of the atrocities committed by humanity. You are also mistaken in thinking that teens don't discuss sexuality, frustrations with the government, and all things obscene. Conversely, they tend to be major topics of discussion because during these formative years is when we gain enough knowledge and confidence to discover and form opinions on these matters. Just as English and History classes have to tackle the darkness of humanity, so too must theater. We would be denying parts of ourselves and our world if we didn't read books like Huckleberry Finn and Crime and Punishment (which are required reading and are centered on issues of racism and murder respectively), study the foundation of our nation or World War Two, and put on theater like Sweeney Todd and Assassins. All are essential for our growth as people and censoring them will potentially make our new generation socially stagnant.
I think much of the offense to this show stems from not understanding its message. This shows questions the negative effects of our nation's spirit on our citizens. But Assassins does not condone, support, or promote the use of violence to achieve what you want. It simply shows what happens upon the unfortunate marriage of falling short of the American Dream with psychopathy. In fact, through the assassins' examples, the audience gets to see that radical acts are only good for infamy and not effecting social change. At the end of the show none of the characters find fulfillment or assuage their discontent. Some people rise to glory and others must learn to live simply, but the beauty of our nation is that "EVERYONE is free to fail" which inversely means that everyone can succeed.
Assassins is more relevant to our lives than any other show I've been in. A new film was just released about John Wilkes Booth and his fellow conspirators. This year, another desperate man tried to change his world by shooting our US Representative Gabrielle Giffords. Now, just as ever, we need to challenge ourselves to tread morally murky waters IN THE EDUCATION SYSTEM to quell ignorance and radicalism.
Finally, a high school theater, and any theater for that matter, should be allowed to put on shows that are meaningful to them and true to historical context without censorship. If we don't stand up for our art we don't truly believe in free speech. When our teacher sets out to do pieces like this, she does so to provide our communities with something more than run-of-the-mill frivolous entertainment. She has taught us that art is often the best way to ponder some of the harsher aspects of ourselves and society. Together, we set out to educate and shape our world. But ultimately, art IS meant to entertain and we hope we've delivered a quality production that can do just that. If you as audience member don't like the content, don't go to the show.
Thank you for your time. I hope you will show your support by coming to Assassins at University High School!
After opening night of Assassins a parent voiced concern over the content of the show, specifically the violence. At our show last night a news crew from Krem2 came to film the first part of the performance. After some deliberation with the administration, the n word was struck from the show. While the initial scare of cancellation has died down, this controversy brings to light many important issues.
The first concern underlying this parent's, and other people's, sentiments is that teenagers should not and can't deal with obscenity, political complexities, psychopathy, and violence. This is simply not true. High schoolers are capable of dealing with sophisticated material. Assassins is a controversial show by nature but this uproar was rooted in doubts of "appropriateness". While many teenagers don't exhibit their finer qualities to the adults in their life, most kids have the intellectual and emotional prowess to not only understand darker issues, but have meaningful discourse on them as well.
You are laboring under delusions if you think teens are blissfully unaware of the atrocities committed by humanity. You are also mistaken in thinking that teens don't discuss sexuality, frustrations with the government, and all things obscene. Conversely, they tend to be major topics of discussion because during these formative years is when we gain enough knowledge and confidence to discover and form opinions on these matters. Just as English and History classes have to tackle the darkness of humanity, so too must theater. We would be denying parts of ourselves and our world if we didn't read books like Huckleberry Finn and Crime and Punishment (which are required reading and are centered on issues of racism and murder respectively), study the foundation of our nation or World War Two, and put on theater like Sweeney Todd and Assassins. All are essential for our growth as people and censoring them will potentially make our new generation socially stagnant.
I think much of the offense to this show stems from not understanding its message. This shows questions the negative effects of our nation's spirit on our citizens. But Assassins does not condone, support, or promote the use of violence to achieve what you want. It simply shows what happens upon the unfortunate marriage of falling short of the American Dream with psychopathy. In fact, through the assassins' examples, the audience gets to see that radical acts are only good for infamy and not effecting social change. At the end of the show none of the characters find fulfillment or assuage their discontent. Some people rise to glory and others must learn to live simply, but the beauty of our nation is that "EVERYONE is free to fail" which inversely means that everyone can succeed.
Assassins is more relevant to our lives than any other show I've been in. A new film was just released about John Wilkes Booth and his fellow conspirators. This year, another desperate man tried to change his world by shooting our US Representative Gabrielle Giffords. Now, just as ever, we need to challenge ourselves to tread morally murky waters IN THE EDUCATION SYSTEM to quell ignorance and radicalism.
Finally, a high school theater, and any theater for that matter, should be allowed to put on shows that are meaningful to them and true to historical context without censorship. If we don't stand up for our art we don't truly believe in free speech. When our teacher sets out to do pieces like this, she does so to provide our communities with something more than run-of-the-mill frivolous entertainment. She has taught us that art is often the best way to ponder some of the harsher aspects of ourselves and society. Together, we set out to educate and shape our world. But ultimately, art IS meant to entertain and we hope we've delivered a quality production that can do just that. If you as audience member don't like the content, don't go to the show.
Thank you for your time. I hope you will show your support by coming to Assassins at University High School!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thinker. No Brainier.
Hello Friends,
It's been a while since my last post. Today I wanted to discuss the vastly inconsistent performance level of the human mind.
The past few days I feel I ventured about some of my intellectual peaks. I've had lengthy discussions on the existence of God and its supposed omnipotence being non-responsive to human interpretations of the universe, the need for religion anyway as long as it spreads compassion and fulfills people, and, similarly, the importance of seeing identifiable characters to yourself in pop culture to affirm the value of your life.
For you music people- at a rehearsal the keyboard was playing in the wrong key and I correctly identified that it was a step too high even though no one else, including the music director, had noticed.
In contrast to this, I walked past the first set of automatic doors at Rosauers and was halted by what was seemingly a very stubborn second set of doors. The glass would not open! It wasn't until I got a sneering look from a nearby employee that I realized I was standing in front of a solid piece of glass while the doors directly adjacent to me were opening and closing furiously at my stupidity.
The point: The human mind is at a stroke capable of great intellectual depth and ingenuity and at another one so inept that it paralyzes you to give grocery store workers an amusing respite from their mundane job.
Stupidly yours,
Jamin
It's been a while since my last post. Today I wanted to discuss the vastly inconsistent performance level of the human mind.
The past few days I feel I ventured about some of my intellectual peaks. I've had lengthy discussions on the existence of God and its supposed omnipotence being non-responsive to human interpretations of the universe, the need for religion anyway as long as it spreads compassion and fulfills people, and, similarly, the importance of seeing identifiable characters to yourself in pop culture to affirm the value of your life.
For you music people- at a rehearsal the keyboard was playing in the wrong key and I correctly identified that it was a step too high even though no one else, including the music director, had noticed.
In contrast to this, I walked past the first set of automatic doors at Rosauers and was halted by what was seemingly a very stubborn second set of doors. The glass would not open! It wasn't until I got a sneering look from a nearby employee that I realized I was standing in front of a solid piece of glass while the doors directly adjacent to me were opening and closing furiously at my stupidity.
The point: The human mind is at a stroke capable of great intellectual depth and ingenuity and at another one so inept that it paralyzes you to give grocery store workers an amusing respite from their mundane job.
Stupidly yours,
Jamin
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thoughts From The Road
On the road, the strangest things occur to you. So here is a collection of random tangents that popped into my head during my various travels for my college auditions presented in no particular order.
I guess it’s not a startling revelation, but actual chocolate in hot chocolate was delicious.
MLK day is marked with tolerance producing educational slaps in the face. But as a kid I and other members of my generation took for granted diversity and generosity of spirit regardless of color. There’s a danger in educating too much and then creating the racial hyper-awareness that is to be discouraged. I didn’t used to think in terms of race but now it factors into how amiably I approach people. Kindness in general even preferential kindness isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I liked it better when I could judge people without subconsciously questioning my racial tolerance.
When you get the wide sweep of things, big cities look like they were built with legos.
My friend Hailey was right- New Yorkers on the whole look a lot weirder than Bostonians.
Panera needs to become a west coast chain…Now.
Gentlemen’s clubs are not gentlemanly. This language seems sexist. I mean, why does an institution of debauchery get to sound like a sign of distinguishment? I suppose if there were ladies clubs where men peddled sexual services I might not insinuate the existence of these institutions promote misogyny, baseness, and iniquity. Then again, I think this idea crossed my mind because I just generally think such practices are inherently dissolute.
Speaking of sexualization of people, a lot of gay guys have a sense of entitlement during the courting process. They think just because they like something they can purchase it even though their own credit is bad. I don’t care if you want to buy a 2011 Bentley; your credit score only qualifies you for a used Nissan Stanza. You know what I’m sayin? No? Ok, I’ll admit this analogy was a stretch.
Pigeons have low proximity awareness in NYC- twice they’ve taken off and nearly flown into my face!
It’s such a relief to be done auditioning because at this point my admissions decision is out of my hands so I feel absolved of responsibility. Of course, the excitement and grueling hours of work begins again when I head off to college but who’s thinking about that?
Here's me crossing my fingers that I'll be able to go to college next year,
Jamin
I guess it’s not a startling revelation, but actual chocolate in hot chocolate was delicious.
MLK day is marked with tolerance producing educational slaps in the face. But as a kid I and other members of my generation took for granted diversity and generosity of spirit regardless of color. There’s a danger in educating too much and then creating the racial hyper-awareness that is to be discouraged. I didn’t used to think in terms of race but now it factors into how amiably I approach people. Kindness in general even preferential kindness isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I liked it better when I could judge people without subconsciously questioning my racial tolerance.
When you get the wide sweep of things, big cities look like they were built with legos.
My friend Hailey was right- New Yorkers on the whole look a lot weirder than Bostonians.
Panera needs to become a west coast chain…Now.
Gentlemen’s clubs are not gentlemanly. This language seems sexist. I mean, why does an institution of debauchery get to sound like a sign of distinguishment? I suppose if there were ladies clubs where men peddled sexual services I might not insinuate the existence of these institutions promote misogyny, baseness, and iniquity. Then again, I think this idea crossed my mind because I just generally think such practices are inherently dissolute.
Speaking of sexualization of people, a lot of gay guys have a sense of entitlement during the courting process. They think just because they like something they can purchase it even though their own credit is bad. I don’t care if you want to buy a 2011 Bentley; your credit score only qualifies you for a used Nissan Stanza. You know what I’m sayin? No? Ok, I’ll admit this analogy was a stretch.
Pigeons have low proximity awareness in NYC- twice they’ve taken off and nearly flown into my face!
It’s such a relief to be done auditioning because at this point my admissions decision is out of my hands so I feel absolved of responsibility. Of course, the excitement and grueling hours of work begins again when I head off to college but who’s thinking about that?
Here's me crossing my fingers that I'll be able to go to college next year,
Jamin
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I Am Really Misleading
I am number four. I am alien. I am being hunted. I am trippy orgasmic fit on the beach. I am soooo cover blown. I am need to do get the hell out of dodge. I am new name. I am John Frickin' Smith (as if that name wasn't gonna attract attention. Ding ding! Indian child molester or noble, but stupid, love interest depending on which version you watched.) I am in newly dubbed "Ironic, Ohio" (Ironic that I suggest a new town name that's quite literal much like the title of my film. I'm not sure I know what this word means. But pretty girl is stalking me with her camera so I play funny).
I am not knowing the meaning of surreptitious. I am friends with geek (who I probably beat up off camera). I am liking pretty girl. I am find out that I only love one girl for the rest of my life 'cause I am from sentimental alien plant. I am f@#$^d; she's a dumb blonde (oh wait, so am I). I am inexplicably endowed with super powers well into puberty so it must be for plot purposes. I am over an hour into the film and still in this crappy town. I am no longer worried aliens with gills on their face are going to sniff-I mean-snuff me? I am protector dead. I am he was killed by a spear in a truck. (Why was he assigned as my secret service when you could just stab him?)
I am is screwed. I am going back (predictably) for pretty girl. I am surrounded by police, my high school enemy, and villains no scarier than metal head biker gang (you know, the ones who try to scare away the world with shaved heads and tatoos 'cause they not so secretly have daddy issues?) I am is screwed so hardcore. I am had time to develop photos with pretty girl? I am is totally stupid. I am knowing now developing photos is bad idea because it gives semi-deranged alien enemies whose sole purpose is to kill me enough time to find and surround me. I am saved by pretty's girl's Australian sister. (Ow! Oh, sorry, you're not related?) I am also badass with amazing control over my super powers not to mention fast reflexes, parkour mastery, and unflappable hair. (On his death bed, protector told me I could do it without him. He was right. Why did I need him again? I should fought the alien dudes and then you could've lived you dumbass!)
I am at the end of the movie with no idea what my alien origins are, a blonde female sidekick, a lapdog nerd friend with a missing father complex, and a vague sense that I need to "protect the world". I am Superman. I am, wait...there's 6 of us. I am f&*$ we're at the end of film and all we did was kill a small team Star Trek rip off, gun toting Emo cousins?
All kidding aside, this film wasn't THIS bad. But you now have a pretty good idea what the dialog was like. The scenes accompanying them though actually accomplished moving the plot with clear purpose. The thing that destroyed this film, other than the IQs of the characters, was the lack of set-up.
This film would've been much better had there been foreshadowing, clues for the characters to uncover, and BITS of back story about the characters revealed incrementally throughout the film. The grand slam approach this film seemed to unintentionally take revealed important facts about people and the story all at once without any audience anticipation. There was nothing holding our attention while the intervening dialog (which in itself is enough to make you want stab someone's eye out) was taking place. This was unfortunate because I feel like people still left the film able to talk clearly about what happened.
Alien planet was decimated by a power hungry rival alien race now seeking to enslave earth. The only serious opposition are these 9 aliens originally meant to protect their home planet and given their badassness at the end of the film it's easy to see why they'd want them removed from the picture first. Number 4 feels outcast, antsy, and hor-I mean prone to love. His geek friend finds meaning again through him because he vindicates his father's belief in aliens and represents potentially finding him again. Pretty girl likes him because he won't hold her to her old cheerleader identity that high school is shunning her for abandoning.
Sounds like a good movie with decent characters right? The action sequences were the best I've seen in years. I hate it when films have these super awesome heroes who only manage to flip a car. Come on, we're a spoiled viewing public. I Am Number Four at least knew to bring out the indulgent, creatively over-violent action! Other than that, this film was a good example of how plot without premise makes for a much less interesting movie. Oh, and before I let you go- the form taken at the top of the piece was partially to illustrate the stupidity of the title and dialog, but also to ask why does Alex Pettyfer speak like he's just had his tonsils pulled out? I mean, dude, I know you're British, but lesser Brits than you have pulled off an American accent. Are you just genuinely speech challenged?
Not Seeing the Sequels,
Jamin
I am not knowing the meaning of surreptitious. I am friends with geek (who I probably beat up off camera). I am liking pretty girl. I am find out that I only love one girl for the rest of my life 'cause I am from sentimental alien plant. I am f@#$^d; she's a dumb blonde (oh wait, so am I). I am inexplicably endowed with super powers well into puberty so it must be for plot purposes. I am over an hour into the film and still in this crappy town. I am no longer worried aliens with gills on their face are going to sniff-I mean-snuff me? I am protector dead. I am he was killed by a spear in a truck. (Why was he assigned as my secret service when you could just stab him?)
I am is screwed. I am going back (predictably) for pretty girl. I am surrounded by police, my high school enemy, and villains no scarier than metal head biker gang (you know, the ones who try to scare away the world with shaved heads and tatoos 'cause they not so secretly have daddy issues?) I am is screwed so hardcore. I am had time to develop photos with pretty girl? I am is totally stupid. I am knowing now developing photos is bad idea because it gives semi-deranged alien enemies whose sole purpose is to kill me enough time to find and surround me. I am saved by pretty's girl's Australian sister. (Ow! Oh, sorry, you're not related?) I am also badass with amazing control over my super powers not to mention fast reflexes, parkour mastery, and unflappable hair. (On his death bed, protector told me I could do it without him. He was right. Why did I need him again? I should fought the alien dudes and then you could've lived you dumbass!)
I am at the end of the movie with no idea what my alien origins are, a blonde female sidekick, a lapdog nerd friend with a missing father complex, and a vague sense that I need to "protect the world". I am Superman. I am, wait...there's 6 of us. I am f&*$ we're at the end of film and all we did was kill a small team Star Trek rip off, gun toting Emo cousins?
All kidding aside, this film wasn't THIS bad. But you now have a pretty good idea what the dialog was like. The scenes accompanying them though actually accomplished moving the plot with clear purpose. The thing that destroyed this film, other than the IQs of the characters, was the lack of set-up.
This film would've been much better had there been foreshadowing, clues for the characters to uncover, and BITS of back story about the characters revealed incrementally throughout the film. The grand slam approach this film seemed to unintentionally take revealed important facts about people and the story all at once without any audience anticipation. There was nothing holding our attention while the intervening dialog (which in itself is enough to make you want stab someone's eye out) was taking place. This was unfortunate because I feel like people still left the film able to talk clearly about what happened.
Alien planet was decimated by a power hungry rival alien race now seeking to enslave earth. The only serious opposition are these 9 aliens originally meant to protect their home planet and given their badassness at the end of the film it's easy to see why they'd want them removed from the picture first. Number 4 feels outcast, antsy, and hor-I mean prone to love. His geek friend finds meaning again through him because he vindicates his father's belief in aliens and represents potentially finding him again. Pretty girl likes him because he won't hold her to her old cheerleader identity that high school is shunning her for abandoning.
Sounds like a good movie with decent characters right? The action sequences were the best I've seen in years. I hate it when films have these super awesome heroes who only manage to flip a car. Come on, we're a spoiled viewing public. I Am Number Four at least knew to bring out the indulgent, creatively over-violent action! Other than that, this film was a good example of how plot without premise makes for a much less interesting movie. Oh, and before I let you go- the form taken at the top of the piece was partially to illustrate the stupidity of the title and dialog, but also to ask why does Alex Pettyfer speak like he's just had his tonsils pulled out? I mean, dude, I know you're British, but lesser Brits than you have pulled off an American accent. Are you just genuinely speech challenged?
Not Seeing the Sequels,
Jamin
Really Useless Blogging
Dear Friends,
I have many drafts of blog posts that have been sitting on my laptop for weeks now but just don't feel like editing them. So today's post will be composed of topics that under ordinary circumstances I would never muse about in public. Today you will be privy to a few of the private questions I ask in my head but don't merit intellectual expounding because they're factual and should therefore be looked up on google instead of pondered in a blog. However, since the answering of these questions won't fill a significant gap in my knowledge, I prefer to be left in the dark and make funny, useless queries. Lucky for you!
As I typed the last paragraph, my dog laid down on the ground and it appeared that his hind legs were sprawled directly behind him. This leads me to wonder are dogs' hind legs double jointed? Or maybe contortionist like flexibility is something unique to pure-bred silver-haired dapple dachshunds. Or maybe this is a completely unique genetic occurrence specific to our epileptic, mildy retarded, obese, socially maniacal, mistaken for a mut by his breeders dog. That or, since I have hitherto-for never witnessed completely back extended hind quarters on dogs and do not think it biologically probable, this is a trick of the light and there is a thoroughly unexciting reason that Rudolph Marik Bartels looks like a Costco pre-baked chicken when he sprawls for a mid-morning nap.
Another couple questions, this time regarding dog behavior:
Does the Dachshund mixed with Yorkshire Terrier mixed with Poodle inherently create a dog with cat like tendencies or is it just our weird prowling miniature raccoon?
Why do dogs like the damn floor?! It's disgusting, annoying, makes me worry about your mental state, and makes me much less sympathetic when you vomit afterwards. Got that dogs? I've actually looked up why dogs lick the ground and it turns out that's pretty typical of dogs with neurological deficiencies like ours...but these claims are unsubstantiated by lab testing and official veterinary publications so I still pose this question to the great wide internet anyway.
When building a house, what is the point of laying down hardwood floor and then a carpet on top of it? Surely the future homeowners would prefer gleaming wood to dust trapping, allergy inducing, stain-able carpet. And even if they don't, they can put the dumb carpet in themselves. Don't waste your time and money. Weird.
Are stop light coordinators sadists? That's not a factual inquiry. I just think it's asinine that instead of propelling traffic along in steady, continuous flows by staggering the lights, stoplights seem to turn green all at once and therefore turn red all at once. This consequently ushers cars about two blocks at a time in a little group that gets to know each other through many peeping glares and silent commiseration at the inadequate amount of distance traveled.
Also, what's the point of traffic cameras? If haven't seen or heard of anyone getting ticketed for running a red light after getting caught by those little, guilt producing devils. I seriously think they're like placebos. Only there as a psychological disciplinary tool...at least to those who care about traffic laws.
Why are there speed LIMITS? Why not just SPEEDS like in Europe? Stop kidding yourself America. The only people who regard those posted placards as the maximum acceptable traveling rate are grannies and OCD manifested in bitter attention to the rules. Even cops don't mind the "limit". (Hmmmmm irresponsible cop behavior warrants its own post.)
I could keep going, but somewhere along the way I stopped asking meaningless questions about purely factual matters that I was too lazy to look up myself. Maybe I'll try being stupid and forgetting that we live in an information age some other time. That leads me to one last question: Why bother asking a purely factual question when you can look it up on the internet? All the old people complain about how much our lives are consumed by the internet. At least prove their assumption wrong that it's making us stupider by showing them what an information mine it is. When you pose a question that is both irrelevant and useless to answer because there's no expert on geology in the room, either you momentarily halt a conversation or cause more idiots to waste time speculating when they really have no idea either. And that, like, you know, makes you look, like, retarded.
Happy Sunday!
Jamin (I realized I stopped putting this cheesy moniker at the bottom of my other posts so NOW IT'S BACK!!!)
I have many drafts of blog posts that have been sitting on my laptop for weeks now but just don't feel like editing them. So today's post will be composed of topics that under ordinary circumstances I would never muse about in public. Today you will be privy to a few of the private questions I ask in my head but don't merit intellectual expounding because they're factual and should therefore be looked up on google instead of pondered in a blog. However, since the answering of these questions won't fill a significant gap in my knowledge, I prefer to be left in the dark and make funny, useless queries. Lucky for you!
As I typed the last paragraph, my dog laid down on the ground and it appeared that his hind legs were sprawled directly behind him. This leads me to wonder are dogs' hind legs double jointed? Or maybe contortionist like flexibility is something unique to pure-bred silver-haired dapple dachshunds. Or maybe this is a completely unique genetic occurrence specific to our epileptic, mildy retarded, obese, socially maniacal, mistaken for a mut by his breeders dog. That or, since I have hitherto-for never witnessed completely back extended hind quarters on dogs and do not think it biologically probable, this is a trick of the light and there is a thoroughly unexciting reason that Rudolph Marik Bartels looks like a Costco pre-baked chicken when he sprawls for a mid-morning nap.
Another couple questions, this time regarding dog behavior:
Does the Dachshund mixed with Yorkshire Terrier mixed with Poodle inherently create a dog with cat like tendencies or is it just our weird prowling miniature raccoon?
Why do dogs like the damn floor?! It's disgusting, annoying, makes me worry about your mental state, and makes me much less sympathetic when you vomit afterwards. Got that dogs? I've actually looked up why dogs lick the ground and it turns out that's pretty typical of dogs with neurological deficiencies like ours...but these claims are unsubstantiated by lab testing and official veterinary publications so I still pose this question to the great wide internet anyway.
When building a house, what is the point of laying down hardwood floor and then a carpet on top of it? Surely the future homeowners would prefer gleaming wood to dust trapping, allergy inducing, stain-able carpet. And even if they don't, they can put the dumb carpet in themselves. Don't waste your time and money. Weird.
Are stop light coordinators sadists? That's not a factual inquiry. I just think it's asinine that instead of propelling traffic along in steady, continuous flows by staggering the lights, stoplights seem to turn green all at once and therefore turn red all at once. This consequently ushers cars about two blocks at a time in a little group that gets to know each other through many peeping glares and silent commiseration at the inadequate amount of distance traveled.
Also, what's the point of traffic cameras? If haven't seen or heard of anyone getting ticketed for running a red light after getting caught by those little, guilt producing devils. I seriously think they're like placebos. Only there as a psychological disciplinary tool...at least to those who care about traffic laws.
Why are there speed LIMITS? Why not just SPEEDS like in Europe? Stop kidding yourself America. The only people who regard those posted placards as the maximum acceptable traveling rate are grannies and OCD manifested in bitter attention to the rules. Even cops don't mind the "limit". (Hmmmmm irresponsible cop behavior warrants its own post.)
I could keep going, but somewhere along the way I stopped asking meaningless questions about purely factual matters that I was too lazy to look up myself. Maybe I'll try being stupid and forgetting that we live in an information age some other time. That leads me to one last question: Why bother asking a purely factual question when you can look it up on the internet? All the old people complain about how much our lives are consumed by the internet. At least prove their assumption wrong that it's making us stupider by showing them what an information mine it is. When you pose a question that is both irrelevant and useless to answer because there's no expert on geology in the room, either you momentarily halt a conversation or cause more idiots to waste time speculating when they really have no idea either. And that, like, you know, makes you look, like, retarded.
Happy Sunday!
Jamin (I realized I stopped putting this cheesy moniker at the bottom of my other posts so NOW IT'S BACK!!!)
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